Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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