Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
