Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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