I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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