I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
