yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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