Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
