drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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