Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
