Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
