If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
