you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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