you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
