In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
