When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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