She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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