do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
