I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
