when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize