I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
