All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
