:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
