my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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