My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
