Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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