sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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