morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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