If i come over, it means nothing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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