It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
