it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
