He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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