but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
