moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
