i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
