Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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