He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
