im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You left your phone here
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