That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize