so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
