question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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