I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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