Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
