Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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