used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
