Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
