Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
