I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
