all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
