have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
