Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm passing your future prison.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
