i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
