his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
