I look better un-naked...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
