Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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