i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
