I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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