Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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