WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
